What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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