HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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