If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
