I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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