We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
