btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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