i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
