For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize