if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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