News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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