That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
