He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
