Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I intend to get homeless drunk
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
