I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Randomize
