Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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