Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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