It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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