My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He kissed a someone with a penis
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
