I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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