Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
