spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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