I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize