Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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