i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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