Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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