4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
