I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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