No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
