I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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