Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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