No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
COCAINE IS GR8
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
