No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
