Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
