So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
