i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
