I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Randomize