Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Damn victory sex feels great
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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