We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
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the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
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Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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