I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
