Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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