dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
