Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
