I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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