MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
we should paint friendship bongs
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