Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
