I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
