i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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