you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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