i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
