The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
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