just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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