you guys were way drunker than both of me
Come see our sink grown plant.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize