It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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