You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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