When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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