That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
