stop calling my apartment porn island.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
this will be a night to untag.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Im part way to drunk.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
