I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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