I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
