I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
