Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
This is the high leading the old right now
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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