do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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