of course. lets lasso hookers.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
