I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
